Amazon Announces Cruise Missile Package Delivery
Amazon customers who are disappointed with the slow delivery times associated with drones
or floating blimp warehouses will be thrilled to learn about Amazon's new, incredibly fast
delivery system. Simply choose "Right now" from the delivery options on the ordering page,
quickly print the target page on your printer. Run out at least 1,000 feet from your house
and the homes of any neighbors you like and place the target on the ground. If you are quick,
you should be back inside before the missile arrives with your package.
Later in the day, an Amazon missile recovery transport vehicle will collect the missile for repair
and reuse.
Says Jeff Bezos, "Until we release the teleporter function on Alexa from beta, this is the
absolute fastest delivery system in the world."
Twitter's New Social Media Site Streamlines Communication Even More
Most Twitter users are thankful for the recent changes to Twitter allowing more characters per tweet.
But some, like Jake Wood of Ames, Iowa see the recent changes as a step in the wrong direction. "I like
things real short," says Jake. "That's why I live in Ames, Iowa. Short name. To the point."
As part of their user-satisfaction initiative "We Care What You Think," Twitter has announced a new
site for users like Jake. The new site will allow only four (yes 4!) letters per tweet, allowing for quick,
effective communication.
We asked Jake what he thought of the new site. "Awes" says Jake, with a big thumbs up.
Endangered Rhinos Relocated to West Coast U.S.
As the population of endangered black rhinos falls precipitously around
the world, a group of high school students in Seattle thinks they know
the solution. "There is no safer place for animals of all sorts than here
in Seattle," says junior Carter Withright. "People in Seattle love pets.
Rhinos aren't usually thought of as pets, but we think we can change that!"
"At first, my mom said, 'No way!' when I asked if we could host a rhino."
chimes in sophomore Brighton Jackson. "Then I reminded her that Dad said
he was going to buy me a Corvette this summer when I'm staying at his house.
She changed her mind really fast. Now our rhino, Rumpley, is happily munching
on grass in the back yard."
The kids say they are mainly spreading their message by social media, but
they hope news stories like this one will get the news out, too. "We've
got 13 rhinos behind the school waiting for homes. We're expecting five
more from Africa next week," says Withright. "Please stop by, sign a waiver,
and take home a new friend. Make the world a better place!"